A Safe Call is something that does not get talked about enough that’s for sure. For that reason I’m writing a quick note to explain why it’s so important, and the different options you have when planning your safe call. A safe call is when you call someone to let them know you are ok, and more importantly safe. You meet someone new (either at a munch or online) and this is either the first time meeting face to face, or first time alone-ish. Have several safe calls and text set up to make sure you make it home alive.
Have at least one person that will know who you are meeting, include a pic of them, their name, phone number and a screenshot of their fb or fetlife accounts (if applicable). It is also important they know the address and phone number of where you are meeting, if there will be a second location or change of plans, call (don’t text) your friend and let them know.
You should do this with every date or meeting until YOU feel safe. You should also set up safe words with your friend. These are so you can let your friend know you are scared, worried or in danger. For example, if at any point during the safe call I say “it looks like I will make it to church this Sunday” my friend knows something is definitely wrong. I’m not religious and that statement is not normally questioned. Now if I said I need to borrow their yellow dress, that is no joke, I’m not safe, call 911 and give them my location. I hate the color yellow and don’t wear dresses. Not alarming for those around you but your friend knows it’s serious.
Texting is not the best way to make or receive a safe call, because ANYONE could be using your phone. If you have to text instead of call, the text check-in can have key words or an emoji to let them know it is you.
We have established what and how..how about how often? They should be called on your way..hang up as you get to your location. About 10 minutes later have your friend call you. Let your date know you will be answering the phone. If they are legit they will know what a safe call is, and respect it! If not, that is a HUGE red flag!! Depending on how safe you feel, and the length of time you’ve known your date you can add more or less check ins. I would include at least two more calls, one to let them know you are finished with the date and safe in your car headed home, and last to say you made it home.
When meeting someone new DO NOT meet them alone, in a secluded area like their house, your house, or the park. This could mean your life!
DO NOT play on your first meet! They need to earn your trust! Once you are tied and gagged you aren’t getting free on your own.
IF you are meeting at the local dungeon, or during a munch, let the DM or host know this is a first meet. If you know anyone also attending the munch let them know this is a first meet. When I host a munch, I will speak to their date to get a feel for them and let them know if I get a bad vibe from them.
I would even restrict your social info until you know this person better. Your cell number is a pain to get changed, as well you can’t just up and move if they start showing up unannounced. Snapchat has a map with your actual location shown, including street name. They don’t need to see pics of your kids, or where you work, or if you live alone.
I know it seems so scary to do all of that just to meet a potential Dom/me or sub. More than likely you won’t need the safecalls or have your friends call for help but evil stuff does happen, and some people are fake and abusive. It’s better to plan and be safe than have no one to call and you know you’re not going to live through this.
Here are some other suggestions to help keep you safe:
• Make sure your phone is charged, bring a wire, plug and backup battery.
•Have a lock on your phone (either face, fingerprint or code)
•keep it with you at all times.