Punishment vs “funishment”

101503618_616224355658694_8203125400621023232_nWe see those words used a lot in BDSM forums and most of the time they are used incorrectly. A punishment is not supposed to be enjoyed or desired by the submissive. IF they are, then they don’t understand the fundamental aspect of being a submissive. A punishment is used to correct a behavior of the submissive. It should be explained why it’s wrong, the correct way to please your Dominant and then forgiven during aftercare. A punishment is not a desired spanking. I’ve seen subs say that later they are getting punished (and be excited about it), I’ve also seen Doms ask what is the best way to punish their subs and with what. In both cases they were just talking about getting/giving a spanking. A consensual spanking is NOT a punishment. It is simply impact play. You can use spankings as a punishment if the sub doesn’t like to be spanked (and it’s not on their hard limits list). You can use a toy they don’t like, for example, I absolutely hate a wooden spoon (grrrrrr) so that would be perfect for me as a punishment.

So-called Funishments or “fun punishments” are usually in role playing scenes. The bottom/sub will act out to push their Doms buttons. This can be playful and cute to downright disrespectful. This behavior is very common with “smart ass masochist” aka S.A.M. A SAM’s goal is to push their Top/Doms to the point where they bring out the primal sadist. They want to be forced to surrender, but that’s not an easy task because they will fight you the whole way. The brattiness is a behavior of a bottom, you can be a submissive or little who enjoys SAM play. The s-type is your role in the dynamic, being a brat or SAM is a behavior you enjoy during a scene. Funishments are NOT for everyone, which is why this should be negotiated before the scene. If you are a submissive as well as a SAM, you should let your potential Dom know that you want that to be part of your dynamic and scenes. Not every Dom wants to deal with bratty behavior, that does not make them weak or fake. It’s about compatibility and what you need and are willing to give your partner.

 

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