In our BDSM Education Group we have started the series called “Establishing kinks and limits”. Here is part one. Join the group to get first access to other parts and a BDSM checklist that i personally created.
📢 When requesting to be part of the group, you have to answer all questions and agree to the rules. Thanks.
Part 1: Introduction to this series
In this series, we are going to go over the differences between kinks, fetishes and limits (hard and soft). The hard limits that should be on everyone’s list, and things that aren’t kinks (but have been made into kinks).
We will be discussing the importance of educating yourself about kinks (even if you are not into them) to establish your own personal limits and kinks list. These should be established well before ever vetting or negotiations begin, as it is a tool used in the vetting process. Do you know how often you should revisit your checklist and update it?
We will go over what is kink shaming, and how to avoid it when discussing kinks you’re not into. Also what kink shaming is not, i’ve been accused of kink shaming when saying brats are not a s-type. They have it half right, it is a kink, but im kink correcting not shaming.
If you have spent any time around people in this lifestyle, you might have heard the phrase “pushing your limits”. What limits are they talking about, and what do they mean by pushing my limits? I feel like the phrase “pushing my limits” has lost its meaning in a scene, and is entering a dangerous zone for the bottoms of the scene.
At the end of this series, I will be posting a BDSM checklist. Not just a kink checklist bc there is so much more to this lifestyle than just the kinks. In doing research for this, I’ve noticed that a lot of the checklists are mostly about different types of sex (in what hole, with what thing and by who) and then some kinks and fetishes. Very little, if at all, about activities, restrictions or services in the dynamic or punishments when breaking the rules. No wonder people on the outside think this is all about sex. As a part of this series I will be going over the kinks listed on the checklist, including any tools needed for that kink and important safety info on that kink. As a group we can discuss it, share experiences and ask questions. This will give you a better understanding of the kink so you can mark your checklist correctly.
I will be including these areas in the checklist:
🔹Relationship style (ie: monogamous)
🔹Relationship types (ie: D/s)
🔹Level of power exchange
🔹Service and restrictive behaviors, punishments
🔹And lastly Sex
There are risks in every kink that we do, we educate and communicate to lower the risk for any type of harm. Edge play is a group of kinks that should not be done by newbies, as there is a great potential for permanent harm (physical and mental) and death. For safety reasons I will be including a section on Edge play, please do not take these kinks lightly. A lot of these kinks are not allowed to be discussed in groups, at dungeons or play parties because of the risks involved. You aren’t a bigger kinkster if you are into these kinks, or less than if you think they are too risky. I do want to make you aware of them, and the risks they have, avoiding the discussion will only make the risk greater. Education is power.
The series will include the following parts.
Establishing kinks and limits
Part 1: Introduction to this series
Part 2: Kinks, Limits and Fetishes
Part 3: What is kink shaming? How to avoid it when discussing a kink?
Part 4: Extreme kinks like edge play
Part 5: Importance of establishing kinks and limits. (Review them often)
Part 6: What does it mean to “push my limits” and who can push them?
Part 7: How to fill out the kink checklist.