Is there one “twue” way in BDSM?

By Primal Piggy of WCDT

“In the BDSM community, many people have fixed ideas about how a dominant or submissive should behave and attempt to inflict their opinions on others. They disparage others by saying ‘if you were a true dom you’d do x’. The others in turn disparage them by calling them ‘twue’ (a supposedly effeminate version of true).” – Urban Dictionary

When we educate about brats and bratting we always get someone who accuses us of being a “one twue way” person, page, or group. This is something called the invincible ignorance fallacy where the person in making this statement simply refuses to believe the teaching, ignoring any evidence given. Instead they offer, “There’s no one way to do anything in BDSM!”

We try to make it a point to say that within any negotiated, consensual relationship you can do things however you like, BUT WHEN WE ARE TEACHING we are going to teach the definition of words and how things fit according to traditional principles of BDSM. Still though, no matter what we say or teach they will disagree. They are going to be willfully ignorant regardless.

I’m not trying to give a lesson in formal debates but there is one other notable fallacy that usually comes up with these types of topics: The bandwagon fallacy assumes something is true (or right or good) because others agree with it. In other words, the fallacy argues that if enough people think a certain way, then you should, too.

One problem with this kind of reasoning is that the broad acceptance of a claim or action doesn’t mean that it’s factually justified. People can be mistaken, confused, deceived, or even willfully irrational in their opinions, so using them to make an argument is flawed.

Just because numerous pages, groups and websites exist that teach wrong information especially about brats and bratting does not mean we need to jump on the bandwagon. We have a clear basis for why we teach what we do: tradition.

In our group BDSM Education Group, We’ve spent all this month teaching about Old Guard. If you’ve read the posts you realize that none of us are Old Guard these days. But what we are is Traditional, meaning we draw principles from our BDSM past and form a philosophy of how to do BDSM based on those principles. Our history goes back nearly 80 years, there are things that have proven to be reliable and trustworthy. There are things which work well that we can draw from our past.

There is BDSM that works and other stuff that, when added, makes BDSM fall apart. We are trying to give people the tools to have good, lasting relationships and relationship dynamics. There is not one true way, but there is a good direction to go.

3 thoughts on “Is there one “twue” way in BDSM?

  1. I don’t think any of the teachings or facts that have been given are “one way” blah blah blah. I didn’t know about the whole brat thing at all or many other things I’ve learned from the group.

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