Self-collaring is where the s-type will collar themselves. This is usually done to express self-love, taking ownership of their own submission (after a bad relationship) to help heal and ground themselves before getting back into looking for a D-type. This is fairly new, and for the most part only recognized by the “new generation”.
I can understand, and even back up the motive behind self-collaring. Sometimes you do need to heal, and love yourself a little more. That isn’t special, it’s pretty standard in every lifestyle, vanilla included. I do NOT back up the actual act of “self-collaring” or referring to an item as a collar if you bought it yourself, for yourself.
This is NOT collaring. IF a D-type did not give you the collar, it’s not a collar, it’s a piece of jewelry. Collaring is a symbol of ownership from D-type to a s-type. It can also show the commitment and dedication the D-type has to their s-type and their dynamic. The s-type accepts the collar as a symbol of being owned by that D-type, they are not allowed to serve another (without the permission of the D-type).
There are certain things within the lifestyle that are sacred, a collar is one of them. Not just the collar but also who gives it to whom, who owns it and the meaning behind it and this is not up for debate.
There are other types of collars like training, consideration, protection and play. These are all valid collars, they all mean something a little different, but the bottomline is the same. Dom owns it, the sub earns it and is honored to receive it.
I would like to add, not everyone wants to collar someone or be collared by someone. It is a personal preference. Collars should not be taken lightly, it should be looked at as a serious and lifetime commitment. You can serve your D-type without a collar, and you can dominate your s-type without ever collaring them. Just like some people don’t want to get married, but they still date and have legit valid relationships.
Respect the history, traditions and rituals of BDSM. It has helped shape the Traditional BDSM we talk about in this group. Do yourself a favor and do lots of research and if you don’t understand ask an educator of BDSM.