Punishments and Funishments

Punishment & funishment.

We see those words used a lot in BDSM forums and most of the time they are used incorrectly. Funishments are not something acknowledged or practiced by Traditional BDSM.

A punishment is an action as a result of disobeying an order or rule. A punishment is not supposed to be enjoyed or desired by the submissive (or the Dominant). A punishment should not be part of a scene or lead into a scene. A consensual spanking is NOT a punishment. It is simply impact play. A scene is not a punishment either. IF you want a spanking, ask for it, you should not “act up” to get one. A D-type can use spankings as a punishment type, if agreed upon during negotiations, but there are many other options.

During a punishment, the s-type should know what they did wrong, have questions answered (if needed), discuss what the desired behavior should look like, and how to achieve it next time. After the punishment, there is aftercare (can vary between dynamics and what was negotiated) the D-type forgives the s-type, and it is dropped.

A punishment scene is a negotiated scene where some form of punishment is consensually given to the bottom. They do not have to “act up” to get the “punishment” as this is role playing. For example a student getting paddled by a principal, or a prisoner getting whipped by a guard. A punishment scene is great for kinksters that enjoy pain, being degraded or humiliated, begging, edge/fear role play.

Funishments or “fun punishments” are similar to punishment scenes/role playing, but are set up incorrectly. The bottom will “act up” or break a rule (outside of a scene) because they want to be “punished” by the Top. Usually meaning they want a spanking, then to be handled roughly during sex. Simulating a punishment is where the Top/bottom will role play. This is NOT a real punishment. Even though the behavior to receive the punishment is real, and deserves a real punishment, the punishment will be simulated. This will lead to sex, and that is what they consider a scene.

Please do not comment that your D-type “allows” you to “break” certain rules, to receive a funishment. IF you are allowed to break that rule, it’s not a rule. If you like role playing a punishment scene, call it what it is, role playing.

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